What Makes a Good Marriage?

What Makes a Good Marriage?

My little sister gets married in exactly one week from today. In between feeling equal parts old and stressed (due to my role as Matron of Honor), I’ve been reflecting on what I could say to her as she enters this new stage in her life. One of my favorite books is by Dr. Ray Guarendi—Marriage: Small Steps, Big Rewards—because it contains simple, yet powerful, words to live by. (I guess I just gave away the surprise in her wedding gift!)

But, what advice and pearls of wisdom might I pass onto my younger sister, as she prepares to join her life with another? There are so many directions you can take with a post about marriage. As I wrote, rewrote, deleted that and rewrote some more, a song from my wedding popped into my head as the best way to think about marriage. While not specifically a marriage song, it surely defines for me the elements I think are necessary in a good marriage.

The Servant Song

Will you let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant too.

Sometimes the hardest part of marriage can be letting your spouse help you. Sometimes in our effort to “do it ourselves,” we don’t allow the other person to feel valued. A good marriage is a balance of serving your spouse, but allowing them to serve you, too.

 We are pilgrims on a journey
We are trav’lers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

You each have a partner to help you through life, the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health. A cart feels lighter to the horse when he is joined by another. So it is with us.

I will hold the Christ-light for you
In the night time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear.

Comfort each other. Be each others’ rock. Help each other up. Always.

   I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we’ve seen this journey through.

You should delight in his happiness and he in yours. When your heart is broken, his should be, too.

 When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Born of all we’ve known together
Of Christ’s love and agony.

Growing your relationship with Christ as a couple is important. Pray for each other. Pray with each other. Make God an intentional part of your life together. Remember Mom’s favorite saying: A good marriage takes three—husband, wife, and God.

Maria, best wishes for a wonderful wedding and an even more wonderful marriage. Love you!



****Photo by  JAlcaraz from Shutterstock

****Song lyrics: The Servant Song by Richard Gillard


About the Author

Angela Glassmeyer is the institutional marketing and sales manager at Franciscan Media. She is blessed with three amazing children and a husband who both encourages and inspires her. She loves to entertain and feed large crowds of family and friends, but does not love the cleanup that comes with it. Angela has been actively involved at St. James of the Valley for almost twenty years and has served as the PSR coordinator since 2005.