I think I used to like football. Until about 7 o’clock Sunday night.
I got past the weeks of pre-game build-up, past the hours of pre-game talk. I got past the “sports commentators” saying things like (and I had the closed captioning on to make sure I was getting this right) “a guy like that, you gotta wonder what he’s thinking in reality in a situation like this.” I got past the cheerleaders—you know, those underdressed grown women whose entire job it is to tell millionaire men they’re awesome. I only had to leave the room briefly to miss the “Go Daddy” commercial (left. me. speechless.).
But then, ah Mercedes Benz! It’s not enough that you overprice your goods so much that you can afford naming rights to the Superdome. No, you had to abandon the standard car-commercial script about curve-hugging and go straight to the curves, establishing that your target demographic is puberty-addled boys with six-figure incomes. There wasn’t much text (just the line “You missed a spot”), but the subtext was pretty clear: if you can’t have the commodity you really want, buy ours.
Football might be all-American, but it’s more the war-and-slavery kind of America than Mom-and-apple pie. Someone should have turned all the lights out.
The Mercedes Benz and Go Daddy commercials are available on YouTube. Take a look and let us know what you think!