Today, May 9, my husband and I celebrate 30 years of marriage. Honestly, when I walked down the aisle of Immaculate Conception Church in New York City all those years ago, I wondered what our chances were of staying the course. On the heels of the societal upheavals of the ’60s and ’70s, marriage in the 1980s—even now—often seemed like a shaky proposition.
But so far, so good; yet it won’t be too much of a big deal in our house. When I told my daughter, Carolyn, the other day, she said, “Are you sure? Has it really been 5 years since your 25th anniversary?” I’ll be surprised if my son, Glenn, remembers; he’s a self-professed “no cards” kind of guy—even though I’ve tried to explain that sending a card is not about him but about the other person. (You just can’t teach those kinds of things.)
We’ve been trying to figure out a way to celebrate ourselves, Tom and I, but it’s just not working out. We thought about going out to dinner yesterday, Sunday, but there’s an 8 p.m. liturgy at our parish for college kids, and as music director for the parish, Tom had to be there. We could go out tonight, but there’s a parish council meeting that I’m reluctant to miss because tonight we choose two new council members for next year— an important consideration.
So yes, other obligations are getting in the way of our celebration. Does it really matter? We’ll do a date night later in the month, in-between Glenn’s college graduation next week and my godson’s confirmation and the business trip to New York for a few days—and all the other stuff that makes up a life. And frankly, I prefer it that way; big celebrations make me nervous. You end up being the center of attention, and what fun is that?
In the meantime, I gave my husband a happy anniversary kiss this morning and we had a lovely breakfast together. The coffee was good and strong, and the eggs just right. Maybe later we’ll be a little crazy and go out for lunch together. In the meantime, I hope and pray that the next 30 years of our lives together will be as interesting and challenging and delightful and blessed as these first 30 have been.
BTW, I’m reading a great book that came out a month or so ago—Ray Guarendi’s Marriage: Small Steps, Big Rewards. I figured that since we were nearing a milestone anniversary, it might be time to take stock and pick up a few tips. And I was right; this book is a gem no matter where you are in your relationship.
photo credit: photostock