On Crumbs and Commitment

My husband has to be the only man alive who has figured out how to create crumbs from peanut butter.

Indeed, I come home from work to find little blobs of peanut butter on my kitchen floor, as if they somehow changed chemical constitution just long enough to fall off the knife, onto the counter, onto the dishtowel that hangs on the cabinet door, and finally, onto the (formerly) white Linoleum.

Michael and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary Jan. 20. My mind boggles at the thought that anyone, even a peanut butter-crumb-maker, could manage to be married to me for four entire years.

Sticking with it

Our first anniversary, in Santa Barbara, Calif.

We stood before God and took our vows in 2007, and I never doubted we would last. Stubbornness alone would get me through, I figured.

Yet there I was a year ago, battling extreme job stress and a bout with depression, questioning everything in my life — including my marriage. I knew I couldn’t be a good wife, and I didn’t think my husband would be able to handle a lifetime of me. I told him, multiple times, he should just go, move back to Louisville and get on with his life.

The irony here is that I’m the Catholic, but it’s my husband who understands the concept of sacramental marriage. I doubt he’d ever think to use that terminology, but somewhere in Michael’s heart, God has given him an understanding of what it means to be a committed, loving, faithful husband. He supports me; he honors me; he stands by me.

Little by little, day by day

On our honeymoon, 2007

In our day-to-day life, I’m the one who makes plans, checks off to-do lists, worries about keeping the house clean and the yard presentable.

But in the life of our marriage, I can see now that it’s Michael who takes the lead. He accepts my imperfections, tolerates my impatience, cherishes my family and friends, and welcomes me into his heart — often in spite of myself.

The peanut butter “crumbs” are just a little reminder of how love and marriage go on, in all kinds of funny little ways.

The important thing is that they keep going on, day in and day out, however messy things might get.

Looking for more inspiration about marriage? Check out “What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About the First Five Years of Marriage,” from SAMP books.

And don’t miss the February issue of St. Anthony Messenger magazine featuring the article, “12 Keys to a Sacramental Marriage,” by Andrew and Terri Lyke.

About the Author

Jennifer Scroggins

Jennifer Scroggins joined Franciscan Media in July 2010 as division director of content creation and services. A northern Kentucky native, Jennifer is passionate about travel, sports, cooking, fitness, music and the Catholic faith. She is a member of St. Paul parish in Florence, Ky.